Angels Among Us

I’m sitting here at the store with 150 rowdy women, who are enjoying a Girls Night Out to benefit April’s Angels (http://www.aprilsangels.org/). There is shrieking but for once in my life, it isn’t corporate types battling for a better performance review. It’s due to a core group of dedicated volunteers who provide fantasy bedroom makeovers for chronically ill children. Whether from MS, brain tumors or other chronic or congenital problems, these kids spend more time in a hospital room than a playground. And when they are home, they are often in bed. So thanks to this wonderful group, their rooms become a source of playfulness, whimsy and their fondest dreams.  The women here tonight are having fun playing games, laughing and enjoying a night out — again, something these kids get little of. And at the end of the evening they are asked to make a contribution, a small price to pay for joy and fun. What price would we all pay for more joy and fun in our lives? Please check out this group and consider supporting them. Or find a cause of your own and put some passion into it. You will get more than you give, in return.

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Sea Glass

ABC News reported that “a study of 660 adults aged 50 and older from an Ohio community, published in the August issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that people who had positive attitudes about aging lived more than seven years longer than those with negative attitudes. What’s more, the effect of a positive attitude seemed to outweigh other known influences on survival such as loneliness, gender, tobacco use and even exercise.”

 

I recently celebrated a birthday on the beach at the Outer Banks where I spent hours looking for sea glass. At the end of the day I was struck by the beautiful irony of the elusive glass. Much like the pounding of the waves and abrasion of the sand smoothes a piece of glass, life weathers us and softens our edges. If we are lucky we become more patient with our family and friends and not so quick to anger or judgment. We have experienced a lot and we don’t need to cut with our sharp words anymore. Our bodies soften and round. For some people, especially women, this can cause a sort of panic and denial. We want to still be firm, clear and beautiful. But a piece of sea glass is beautiful too, especially because we no longer exist to just be a reflection of others, but instead can shine on our own.

 

As the study cited above points out, attitude is a powerful influence on our health and happiness. Whether in our 50s or even hitting our 30s or 40s, we begin to realize that those years ahead are rarer. Here at Calm and Sense we focus on finding the sensory input which helps us to relax; as we age, I believe it is even more important to find those triggers and give ourselves permission to slow down and savor today’s moments. Life tumbles us like a piece of glass. We can either fracture and stay rough, or ride the waves that polish us into a new piece of perfection.

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Fall

It’s officially autumn! Not a moment too soon after a long hot summer. Let’s Fall…

Fall In Love. Happy people live longer. If you don’t have anyone to fall in love with, at least Fall In Like…A Lot. And you won’t be accused of bigamy!

Fall Down Laughing. Go to a comedy club, sign up for a joke of the day email, visit www.icanhascheeseburger.com, change your screen saver to a photo that makes you giggle. Laughing releases tension and increases oxygen to the brain.

Fall For a Pretty Face. Psychological studies have shown that smiling faces are perceived more positively. Even a pretty person is viewed less favorably if frowning. Worry less about the makeup on your face; think more about the make-up of your expression!

Fall Apart. Let yourself have a good cry if you need it. Bottling up emotions just increases stress and eventually hurts your health. Need to get started? Rent a sappy movie.

Fall By The Wayside. Stop trying to do so much! Take today’s To Do list and literally scratch half of off … and don’t beat yourself up about it.

Let The Chips Fall Where They May. Are you trying to control all the details in your life? Learn to shrug about the little stuff otherwise you have no energy for the big stuff.

But remember….try not to fall off the wagon, fall for a con, or fall from grace!!

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Ayurvedic Tips for Surviving Pitta Season

No doubt about it.  Pitta, dosha, derived from Fire element is raging this summer. Pitta season is characterized by the warmest temperatures of the year - coinciding with Summer.

 

How Pitta dominant your individual nature is (see our webpage, “What is Ayurveda,” http://www.ayubwc.com/ayurveda.html if you are still not sure) and also how you cope with the extreme temperature might affect how oppressive the recent heat wave has been to both your bodily comfort and also your mood.

 

Things that may exacerbate or indicate rising Pitta levels in the body/mind:

  •  Eating too much spicy or acidic food, or drinking dehydrating alcoholic beverages.    Remedy:  Choose light crisp vegetables and salads, juicy fruits, and cooling, rehydrating drinks instead
  • Burning, drying or irritating skin Remedy:  Enjoy an Ayurvedic massage, for relaxation but also to soothe the skin - we can use a pitta-friendly oil to rehydrate and protect tender skin this summer.  If you are Pitta dominant and prone to sensitive skin, wearing appropriate cover-up clothing/hats is always wise when enjoying the beach or the pool or your own garden.
  •  Getting caught up in projects (personal or work-related) or being sucked in to “road rage” mentality while traveling.   Remedy:  Take breaks often to calm potentially escalating intensity.  A two to three minute breath-centered meditation can be used throughout the day.  Spend time in the water (be it a pool, the ocean or a bath at home) Aromatherapy is often very effective in cooling the mind/temper.  Try Rose Oil or Lavender in a bath, lotion or misting spray.

 

Whether this is your favorite time of year or your least, take some time to enjoy the activities you cherish with the ones you love this summer.

About the Author: Karie Wik, LMBT, CYT, is an ayurvedic practioner at the Ayurvedic Bodywork Center in Raleigh

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The Lost Art of Living in the Moment

Anyone who has watched a young child and/or has been blessed with an animal companion can attest to just how many details the average adult human completely overlooks.  A dog finds absolute joy in exploring their backyard on a sunny day, even if that same backyard has remained unchanged for the duration of their short life.  To a child, every experience constitutes a new adventure. So, when did most of us stop experiencing the small wonders that make up our daily lives? Why did we stop living in the moment?

 

The problem.

 

Life quickly becomes completely overwhelming.  Bills need to be paid, work needs to be accomplished… There’s precious little time to be stopping to smell the roses when you’re desperately trying to meet your deadlines.  So, how can the modern, over-caffeinated professional inject a little bit of Zen calm into their already packed schedule?

 

Finding your Zen.

 

The answer is simple: try to make every moment a Zen moment.  Each and every moment you’re alive is a moment you’ll never have back.  When you’re driving to work, ignore the traffic for a moment and really look around you.  If it’s a nice day, notice the sunshine and trees.  If it’s raining or just plain nasty out, take a minute to think about your life and your place in the universe.  Just a few moments of reflection can alleviate a great deal of stress. 

 

Stress is a killer.

 

Stress is the ultimate killer. It’s been proven to contribute to cancer and other major diseases.  Before women entered the workforce, their rate of heart attacks was nearly half that of men.  While the protective effects of estrogen on the heart keep the number of female heart attack victims lower than the number of male victims, the rate of female stress-related heart attacks is rising every year. 

 

Clearly, both men and women could benefit from a little stress reduction.

 

While living in the moment might not completely counteract your stress-filled schedule, it will give you a fighting chance of enjoying more of your 9 to 5 workweek.  Just remember that you need look no further than your dog, cat, or your cute little niece or nephew for inspiration.   

 

 

Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She often can be found blogging about education and scholarships for college. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23209605@N00/2786126623/

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Making Peace with Food, Your Body, Yourself Through Yoga

 

Everyone knows that yoga improves flexibility, strength and mental focus, but did you know that the practice is also one of the best treatments for that common ailment, JUSTONEMOREITIS? You know when you are driving home from Super Target and a new bag of chocolate covered pretzels magically appears in the front seat, opened, with your hand in it. As you reach for your 20th piece you suddenly realize you are eating, and decide you will have just one more. Then the internal battle: first, the futile bargaining, followed by the “oh what the heck, I’ve already ruined my diet today” and finally - all dialogue is drowned out by the crackle of the empty bag. You are disappointed, and slightly sick.

Logical strategies for preventing this scene may be to eat before you shop, or don’t buy the pretzels in the first place, in other words, exert more self-control. But if self-control is the key to weight loss, why do most diets fail? Because the issue is not self-control but rather self-awareness. Self-restriction leads to rebellion, eventually dissolves your resolution and ultimately, your self-confidence. Individuals who are at peace with food, their bodies and selves, achieve healthy weight and/or nutrition goals, as a by-product of a more balanced perspective.

Yoga reinforces this inside-out philosophy, supporting my nutrition practice and life in general. Through yoga I am better able to relax, and stay connected to my body. This grounding nurtures positive food choices and helps me let go of destructive judgments, which chip away at self-confidence. At first, practicing yoga was more like playing Twister - right foot here, left hand there -and meditation was time to mentally review my to-do list. Gradually, I internalized the flow of a typical practice; I learned to quiet my “monkey mind”, surrender the thoughts, continually returning to my breath. I learned to embody the yoga postures by feeling the physical sensations, rather than scrutinizing my mastery. I guess I can say that now I’m looking at life through yoga-colored goggles.

In the dentist chair I use breathing techniques to remain calm, and apply the principles of quieting, centering and dropping inward to my relationships with exercise and food. Bicycling uphill, I breathe in to the resisting muscles. Mindless snacking? I redirect my attention to my inhales and exhales, and observe. I don’t berate my behaviors; I do witness and explore.

On my sticky mat I focus on what adjustments I can make to realize the full expression of the pose, not how I look. Yoga helps me appreciate my body’s abilities, instead of objectifying them. I want to make healthy choices, out of respect for my body, not because I have to fit into a certain pair of jeans. In general, thanks to yoga I believe I I am better able to nourish physical hunger with food that satisfies, and quell other desires with similarly appropriate responses.

In summary:  Should you find yourself regretting, ruminating, or yearning for a better way, I encourage you to try on a pair of yoga-colored goggles. Yoga will help hone the tools you need to transform your “shoulds” to “want to’s” and put an end those inner battles - for good. Peace, shalom, namaste and good health - from the inside out!

Simone Horvitz is a professional a nutrition coach with Strategic Bites, www.strategicbites.com. 

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The Next Idiot I Work For Is Going To Be Me

For the record, my former teammates will recognize this title; it was my mantra during the death throes of a corporate-wide layoff. When they found out I planned to start my own business they snickered that the prophesy was true….I really WAS going to work for an idiot!!

 

Unfortunately, many of us can relate to a toxic work environment where management is playing CYA or hiding incompetence and laziness in the guise of “giving you opportunities for growth” (meanwhile you are collapsing from overwork and unrealistic expectations while they play golf every Friday). Then there is the Faction Manager who seems to only thrive when fighting with someone, and heaven help you if you are today’s target! My most memorable “bad boss” was the woman who lectured me about being more professional at work, then came back from a 2-hour lunch with her hair in disarray and dress wrinkled. Hmmm, guess she was attending a “business lunch” with that colleague?

 

Not everyone can do what I did and chuck it to follow a dream of self-employment, so for those left in the world of dysfunction, here are some tips for surviving stress at work:

  1. Get Moving: Taking a walk at lunch can remove you from the environment as well as give you a chance to blow off some steam. Or have a squeeze ball handy and take frustration out on that (note: drawing the offender’s face on the ball is cute but don’t make it too identifiable!)
  2. Eat Smarter: Because low blood sugar makes you anxious and irritable, watch for signs that a snack might help and keep your drawer filled with healthy choices.
  3. Learn to Use Your Emotional Intelligence: As tempting as it is to say that someone else is causing it, “stress” is really our internal reaction to external stimuli; in other words, we have the power to control and eliminate it. Here are some great tips on using your EI: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm
  • Realize when you’re stressed – The first step to reducing stress is recognizing what stress feels like. Many of us spend so much time in an unbalanced state that we’ve forgotten what it feels like to be calm and relaxed.
  • Identify your stress response – Everyone reacts differently to stress. Do you tend to space out and get depressed? Become angry and agitated? Freeze with anxiety? The best way to quickly calm yourself depends on your specific stress response.
  • Discover the stress busting techniques that work for you – The best way to reduce stress quickly is through the senses: through sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.

If you ready to put your emotional and professional life in your own hands, there are plenty of options ranging from freelancing, buying a franchise, starting your own company, doing multi-level marketing and more. Here are some resources that might help you determine your best fit: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/self-employment/.  If you do decide to start your own business, become the happy and motivated “boss” you deserve: http://selfemployment.suite101.com/article.cfm/motivational-tips-for-the-self-employed

Whether you stay in your current job, get a new job or strike out on your own, remember this great David Rankin quote: “Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be.” And Good Luck!!

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Change Your Environment, Change Your Outlook

Just about every one of us can vouch for the fact that your surroundings can affect your mood.  Many people spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars enlisting the help of an interior designer.  With a little bit of insight into the human mind, most can achieve an uplifting effect in their own home without the help of a professional. 

Eastern cultures have developed whole, sophisticated systems of decoration, each with their own attendant philosophy.  The most commonly discussed of these is Feng Shui.  This traditional Chinese philosophy is based upon the idea that changing the way you perceive the world around you is a quicker, more effective way of changing your emotional state than changing your inner attitudes and behavior. Changing your house, office or other area you frequent to reflect good energy traits encourages you to take on these traits yourself.

At its most basic, Feng Shui philosophy encourages the potential home designer to use themes from the five Chinese elements as inspiration.  These elements are: wood, fire, earth, metal, and water.  Each element lends specific characteristics that, when taken together, help create positive energy.

Science seconds the claims made by Feng Shui proponents.  Time and again, studies have shown people respond emotionally to different colors.  Red intensifies energy, but can cause anxiety.  Green is a creative, relaxed color. Blue is also a relaxed color, but can increase depressed states…

Also, we have found that humans are drawn to patterns that are reminiscent of the fractal patterns found in nature.  For an example of a fractal pattern, look the arms of a snowflake or the branches of a tree. They all follow a similar, ordered pattern, but each one is uniquely different. An environment that is too chaotic will elicit a chaotic emotional state. An environment that is too ordered is oppressive.

Changing the layout of your house or workspace could potentially increase your productivity and improve your mood.  Under the right circumstances, a little redecorating could be more effective and less expensive than seeing a therapist or taking Prozac. 

Public Domain Photo:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/carworld/3902562540/

Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at onlinedegrees.org, researching areas of online college degrees: http://www.onlinedegrees.org/blog/

In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

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This Week’s Good Karma Find

First of all, for those that actually follow my blog, my apologies for letting it lapse these past few months. The muse had left me and I believe that if you don’t have something relevant to say, stay silent!!!

But this week I discovered a store here in Raleigh that spends as much time finding homes for hard-to-place dogs and cats as it does selling its beautiful and unique jewelry. Many of these animals have been abandoned beside the road, or have been injured or abused, making them poor adoption candidates at conventional shelters. But the owner of Cat Banjo in Raleigh’s Cameron Village has made it her mission to pair loving and lovable dogs and cats with worthy humans. If you are looking for love, look no further than the adoption list they update regularly. And when you need to be reassured that there is still love and compassion in the world, check out http://www.facebook.com/pages/Raleigh-NC/Cat-Banjo/63478030842

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The Power of a Healing Touch

Of all the human senses, the touch is the one that has the most profound impact on me. I have been a fan of massage for decades, relishing the whole experience of having my aches and pains kneaded away but also with the smell of the oils and the sound of the music or fountain in the room. Heated stones or blankets make me purr. So when Reiki was suggested to me as an alternative therapy, I was afraid that I would miss the deeper essence of the massage. One of the best things about having this store is the opportunity to explore alternative ways to heal both my body and my mind so when I had the chance to experience an hour of Healing Energy by Keith Liles, I was ready to experience this practice with her.

Keith brings many of the same sensory experiences into the Reiki session that I had enjoyed with the massage, but it also intrigued me that someone could “touch” my energy and not only know I was stressed but do something about it! How cool is that?

The session started with settling onto a table she covered with a silk cloth; music accompanied the session and started to calm me right way. She did a “reading” of where my body and mind were at and she moved purposefully but softly. When you are around Keith you can feel her kindness and energy and you can also sense that her laughter is just under the surface. She makes you feel good just being in her presence.

An hour somehow melted by and I loved the entire experience. For the rest of the day I felt more at peace, more confident and, well, just happier! It’s sort of a hard thing to describe but definitely one I want to experience again. Thank you, Keith, for an extraordinary experience.

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